Super Sayan Kitsune Fairy Vampire Demon
by Burning DragonSword
Summary: The Evil Civilian Council is at again! A mob forms and does the usual. BUt wait! Naruto unlocks his blood line and takes revenge! Watch him in all his technicolor long haired, Child in an over-sized Man's body glory! Crack not a serious fic. check out rant at bottom


Naruto is walikng down the street when a mob formed by the "evil Civilian Council" somehow forms within moments of his arrival at the ramen bar. He is picked up and dragged halfway across the villiage with no one noticing or caring. He is barlely genin level so he has no chance agaisnt the chunin level ninja in the mob. Hi is kicked punched, stabbed, his main arterays are slashed in several places but some how he has unlimted blood, and he some manages to stay awake.

All of a sudden, a shockwave emenates from his prone body, throwing all the members of the mob away. All of them watch in awe and fear as some how, some way, this dead-last manages to perform Yin-Yang Release on himself and he grows taller, to a towering seven feet, eight inches tall with rippling muscles and long red/green/blue/white/black/yellow hair that has grown to his waist Not a trace of the former malnourished preteen is left. He opens his eyes and the Blue eyes givin to him by his parents are gone, replaced with purple/red/blue/green eyes that have several unatural symblols in them. He looks a this mob and incerates them with his Godly eyes. He leaps into the air and land in the middle of the council chambers, (that's oddly enough, in session.) The civilians scream at the "demon" to leave but he is KAGE-LEVEL now. He does not listen. The Civilian and shinobi council is wiped out for not understanding the simple concept that, if you have a walking wmd in you possesion, you do not torture them. they may just set their sights on you.

Naruto then leaps again and then pulls a Pein and flattens the entire villige, killing everyone. He then makes hi way past the shattered remains of the main gate and leaves.

Hi, This is not meant to be a seriious fic I wrote this because I keep finding these stupid elements in so many naruto stories on this site it's baffling

These are three such elements that just kill a story for me, although the first is just lazy writing on an authors part and so ingrained into this site I don't think anyone even thinks about it.

The Genin-Chunin-Jounin-Kage Level is one (has anyone even stopped to consider how stupid it sounds? Go up to the nearest solider and ask if he has Corporal level speed or Colonel level stamina. I'm sure they'll think it's a logical approximation of their skills) At least you know a d-rank ninja sucks An A-class Ninja is tough, An S-rank can rival the average Kage (if they aren't one already) while an SS-rank you might well crap your pants and hope you die quickly. If there is an SSS-rank (as stupid as it sounds) Madara and Hashirama would fit the bill. Enough said about those two.

Another is that any so called Super!Naruto fic on this site has some magical growth spurt with multi-colored hair that magically grows to his waist or ankles. It's fine if he grows an inch or two, but when he grows twelve to thirty inches, gets muscles from nothing, and any malnutrition is magically cured it just sounds retarded and ridiculous He has Kyuubi's chakra, but that's all it is. It is not calcium, iron, protein or any of the other countless things needed to grow that much. hell, even when he goes 7 or eight tails, that's temporary and he shrinks back down. I swear it's like 99% of the authors on this site can't wait until he's actually a teenager before he has a respectable height. At the start of Canon He's TWELVE not TWENTY-FIVE. More often then not it's a lazy excuse so Naruto can have under-age sex while looking like an adult. If you want a good example read Birth of the Forest. It's a Super!Naruto fic, but GASP! No technicolor Hair! He doesn't have the body of a grown man at twelve years old! He even points out to others that he has to grow NATURALLY! He even has to start eating better! Say it ain't so! I will admit his eyes change to forest green though. all in all not that bad

Another is "the Civilian Council is Evil and has total Control of his life because he's a civilian" He's not. He is a jinchūriki, one of only a maximum of nine at anytime. By definition he is a walking WMD. Not only that, but he is THE BIGGEST walking WMD. Only an absolute moron keeps hitting a armed nuclear warhead with a hammer. His mental, physical and physiological health is of the utmost concern to the village. Therefore his well-being is a MILITARY CONCERN, NOT A CIVILIAN CONCERN. The moment he became a jinchūriki, the Civilian Council lost any and all authority over him. Even if they grabbed power in the small lull between minato's death and Hiruzen's reinstatement, they still would not have authority over him. They can not propose laws or stop him from being adopted because it is not their concern. It's not so much of an issue with other Bijuu since it seems their hosts were picked, around the time they'd enter a ninja academy anyway. He is one from maybe an hour after his birth, which makes it imperative that he be physiologically healthy ESPECIALLY during his first five to ten years. Another is that as Altruistic as Konoha pretends to be, He has no choice but to be a shinobi. Whether it's through the normal route or through ROOT doesn't matter. Sure, the Council can plot and scheme all they want, but no one with even a quarter of a brain lets a moron into the nuclear missile launch room and lets them start smashing random buttons.


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